27 Things I am Glad I did Before 28...

photo by Mad_T

I have been wanting to write a post looking back on my "27 Things Before 28" list (thank you to Andrea for motivating me to consciously do this for the past few years)--as in what I did or did not accomplish, and sharing my new list...yet it seems it takes me awhile before I can fully reflect and put things into words. Today I was first inspired by Elsie and the photo above...so I will share the supplemental list I made a few months ago (when I actually turned 28) to make me feel better about the things I didn't do on my initial list.

27 Things I am Glad I did Before 28...
(some huge, some seemingly trivial)

1. Van Duzer Days!-- Upcycling Booth--on two different weeks I broke out of my shell and upcycled loads of junk through the outlet of art and sharing! I felt like so much was purged--literally and figuratively by the simple acts of sitting on sidewalks painting cardboard with people. So many things I love all wrapped up in single days full of creation and friends!!

2. Matt Accardo portrait-- I had secretly hoped I would one day be photographed by Matt, who has since  become a great new presence and inspiration. I love how he captures people, and mostly that he is recording stories of our island!

3. Tattoo #4-- gam zeh yavoor: This Too Shall Pass. To lift me up when I am down, to humble me when I am too full of ego...to remind me of impermanence and irony.

4. Sewed a tool roll-- I never follow through on projects...this once I did! The tutorial came from Lotta's Simple Sewing book!

5. Vedic Astrology classes-- every Thursday I either host, or at least commit to learning and discussing so many amazing things along with my friend and astrologer Jay!

6. Movies at the Tibetan museum!-- a J.P., Jay, and I ritual when there are events!

7. Saw a Meteor!--even though there wasn't much of a shower, J.P, Cristyn and I hung out on the beach and enjoyed the sky. Each of us saw one, separately--thus we know there were at least three that sprayed across the sky!

8. Got a new bed!-- a real big girl bed!! This has perhaps been one of my largest adult purchases...and my body thoroughly thanks me for this...especially after spending months sleeping on a couch and then futon!! ouch.

9. Got a Bicycle!!-- a super rad electric blue vintage one!! (yes, RAD!)

10. Made a chocolate chickpea cake! (indulgent and good for you!!)

11. Made Zucchini cupcakes! (I feel similarly about these as I do about the chickpea cake!)

12. My Peanut-butter granola balls--(need to find a shorter name!) were loved at a local Wellness fair!! Yummy little doses of energy! Easy (and healthy) recipe came from Everyday Food magazine!

13. 92 Y blog mention!!!

14. Featured on scribble project-- this entire concept is so much fun and inspiring!!

15. Started 365 project-- though it has been quite hard to be consistent here! Overall this project has been quite a profound little journey for me!! hmm...

16. Crocheted a gillion tawashis and dishcloths!! Gave some to friends, use some...love 'em!! I have learned that one ball of Sugar 'n Cream yarn makes exactly two tawashis!

17. Made my own shampoo-- can't remember the exact source of the recipe, but essentially I just used some lavender Dr. Bronner's castille soap (thank you Cyndy for introducing me officially!), a splash of apple cider vinegar, a drop of olive oil, and water--put it all in a spray bottle, shake and use! This will last forever and makes my hair so much healthier...and mind you saves a lot of money on product that robs you of your natural oils.

18. Participated in a Red Velvet Art on-line craft class!

19. Made my own room mist-- no more buying toxic air sprays...a few drops of REAL essential oil and water in a spray bottle!

20. New upcycling projects!-- making journals for and with friends, inspiring others, discovering so many more ways to be self-sustainable!!

21. One allergy free room!!-- much to my cat's chagrin, my bedroom is my ultimate sanctuary...though dust magically accumulates no matter what!

22. Survived a difficult break up relatively unscathed--and helped some friends with my determination to enjoy life at all costs! Keep on truckin' through thick and thin! (yay Grateful Dead reference!)

23. Had a student thank me in a speech and another tell me her tattoo was inspired by life lessons I taught in class. Not much is better than those moments...

24. Iphone!-- do I need to even explain the beauty that is iphone?? I am an open Mac lover!!

25. Finished books 1-5 of Sookie Stackhouse series and caught up on the show--total indulgent mind numbing brain candy...guilty as charged!

26. Cristyn and I became addicted to Being Human and all things BBC America (see 25!)

27. Renegade craft fair! Such a fun day with so many opportunities to take photos!!

I do all of this so I can remember, and share the little things that make life so so worth it. This alone is a huge challenge to myself and to all of you...take time to consider what makes you feel good about being you, about the life you lead and the people in it. There are so many things each year that make life difficult, but I try to balance that with beauty and gratitude...and for my own sake, for my loved ones, and perhaps for my hypothetical future children I try to document all of the good so I can one day look back and say "beautiful".

WHAT I WANT TO MAKE THIS X-MAS [PART III]

CREATIVE YARN

CROCHET SPOT

(This will be perfect for my friend Jesse, who luckily never goes on the internet!)

CROCHET SPOT

(so many awesome tutorials!)

TIPNUT

TIPNUT

NOODLEHEAD

WHAT I WANT TO MAKE THIS X-MAS [PART II]

Getting excited!

PRETTY DITTY

RAVELRY

REFINERY 29

THE PURL BEE

CONFESSIONS OF A COMPULSIVE CRAFTER

WHAT I WANT TO MAKE THIS X-MAS [PART I]

If anything I feel like I am late in contemplating the holidays...

LARK & LOLA

ATTIC 24

SUZANNE STEIGE

LAUGHING PURPLE GOLDFISH DESIGNS

(Made one already!)

NATURALLY CARON

Looks like crochet is the theme!! I have two projects (not listed here) started--will share more soon!!

MEMORIAL CRAFT

In learning to cope with life, I need to create. Here is to adding to life when encountered with voids.

This paper memorial was first hand drawn on cardstock, then cut. I used clear jewelry wire to attach the cloud to a twig I found, and then used the wire to attach rain drops made from cardstock. I like the droplets from afar, though up close one can see I glued dimes in between the paper for weight. I think of the dimes as offerings so that I don't obsess over the imperfect aesthetics. Now I just need a proper home for this piece.

I made this papercut for my friend Denise who passed recently. Not only was she a living Shakespeare encyclopedia, but she is the person who propelled my love of the bard. One of her favorite plays to teach was "The Tempest", which to date is one of my own--and the play the broke my brother out of his box. The text reads: "How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world that has such people in it."

And here is a touching poem my brother wrote for our bard:

Sleep Soundly Lady Macbeth
(in loving memory of Denise Simone)

The sky looks like it's cooking up some sort of mess,
a tempest and someone isn't going to make it.
That's when I heard about what happened to you
as my tears swell up from this great tragedy
I hope you know what you did to my life
with kindness and support.
Can I wish you a Midsummer's dream
in the belly of the Fall?
My burning barge, how I thank you
you've made me into this perfect sonnet
and taught me that all's
well that ends well,
but the night brings forth shivers.
Tell me, where did you find those clipped wings?
And why did you say the looked good pinned on my back?
Walk along with the ghost of a literary father
bow out like a satisfied, underpaid actor
remembering the power of words
because sometimes "I love you" is just enough.

This papercut is for my friend Joe "Semz" who passed a few years ago. The design was taken from a well known photo of him featured in a magazine.

I drew some contour lines and made some tweaks so that I could transfer the soul of this image into a papercut.

To Joe

You were never just a name on the wall
you were a work of art
misunderstood
vibrant
your name was never you

cisco in a she-ra thermos
staring at the city ahead
ferry boats
hiding out by the water
it's so high now
our rocks are almost gone

underground universes
kicking of our shoes
new york explorers

the tower windows
even they are gone

you let me paint your nails
break into your car
you revealed your face
and i kissed your forehead

we cried until we laughed
we laughed until we snorted
and marked our territory
before we disappeared

BE AN EXPLORER OF THE WORLD...

because I love Keri Smith...

because this is the meaning of life...

DIA DE LOS MUERTOS: Enough of this Death, Let's Celebrate Life...

110/365: To The Dearly Departed

It takes me a long time to process many things of an emotional nature. My logical self has to go through a series of panels with my emotional self until I have a conclusion. Let's say that takes awhile sometimes. Especially when it comes to how to be after someone close has died. Perhaps no one is ever prepared for the amount of death or loss he/she might suffer in life. Sometimes I think I have had more than my fair share at 28. Statistics can lie.

As a child I was pretty accepting of the passing of souls, and even though I have tried to keep a spiritual perspective on this natural part of the cycle, as I get older and see the numbers increasing...the truth is, dealing with it really sucks--no eloquent words for this feeling. I say this purely out of the ego of the living--out of someone who can't quite wrap this experience up neatly for any others. I guess I deal through sharing and expressing-- keeping memories alive. Perhaps that is a deeper part of why all of my tattoos pay homage to the paradox of the infinite depth we can feel/experience combined with the impermanence of moments.

When someone leaves this world, I look at myself much more closely and nitpick at all the "shoulda, coulda, wouldas". Anyone who has lost someone knows the pain eventually turns into self-reflection and moments of "dammit I miss 'so and so'".  I am lucky enough to know that all of the people who have gone are still very much alive in my heart, but I am sure you all know the desire to have one last moment with that person near--a last moment to shout "You rock my world" and such.

My typical conundrum is that for many, discussing death is a source of discomfort--usually because of having to look at one's own impermanence. That is not so much the case for me as I secretly try to maintain the life of the dead through my thoughts, artwork, memories, stories-- and it is rare that I share that with anyone....but it is through stories and sharing that people become infinite--that their energy is still palpable.

Those are lessons I have learned from two amazing people who are no longer in the physical bodies I knew them from. Two people whose lives were devoted to expressing, sharing, living OUT LOUD. So, here is me breaking out of my interior world to shout "YOU ROCK MY WORLD" to two people who would have been celebrating birthdays last month, who deserve to be remembered even if I can't give them that last hug and I am not one to attend wakes, here is to the promise of celebrating life.

DENISE SIMONE

(1958-2009)

Denise and I circa 2004. 

(Can't find my external hard drive for other pictures of her in full force!)

Denise was my brother Chris's English teacher in high school. She was also inadvertently one of my inspirations to teach at the school I'm in. Her energy deeply affected my brother, and I attribute her influence as the turning point in my his life. She helped him see the magic he had and pushed him to share that. She made the wallflower blossom--and since Chris is one of my best friends in the universe, and one of the most beautiful souls--- I thank Denise for so much more than just my own amazing experience of her.

This is a woman whose heart was boundless--there was no limit to what she had to give to all who encountered her. She was the type of educator I still aspire to be-- she pushed others to reach their potential and make their visions reality. She believed in experiencing as much as possible and exuded a sense of dramatic glamour and passion in every aspect of her life. When I was a wee student teacher she passed her love of Shakespeare on to me when I was scared out of my wits to approach the subject at all--yet she pushed me and not only gave me the odd confidence to perform in front of my future bosses, but gave me the strength to accomplish anything I set my heart to. She was my mentor, my colleague, my friend, my vision of possibility. Her drive was unparalleled and I am glad to have been on the journey of her dreams for some time. She showed me the supreme nature of what it is to be a teacher (even outside of the classroom) and the power we can have to deeply affect others in ways we may never know in our short lifetimes. I am glad I always let you know.

JOEY "SEMZ" MCCARTHY

(1976-2007)

Even though it has been close to three years since Joe passed, his memorial came the day after I learned of Denise's death. Both were sudden, untimely, hard to digest. I have a feeling I have blogged about Joe before, but probably at a time I was too private to specify people. Very few people know about the impact Joe had on my life. He was my friend at one of the most instrumental times in my development. He was like a brother who drifted in and out of reality inspiring people in the oddest corners of the world. In a "New York state of mind" Joey is a legend for his graffiti, his artwork, his music. I never cease to smile when remembering our escapades...living with total abandon...kicking our shoes off of the escalators in the towers, contemplating life by the harbor, naps on park benches, painting his nails...In my world, he was someone whose soul I understood--who was a friend when I needed it most--who shaped me in ways he could never know.

At Joe's recent memorial I was thrust back into a vortex of time/emotions. I was able to reconnect with the spirit of art he exuded and the heart that goes into every creation. I got to tell his parents what Joe meant to me-- how he believed in my path, encouraged me to succeed in college though it wasn't the pursuit many of our friends were choosing at first. He never let me feel like I sold myself out as an artist but insisted that I would ultimately give so much more as a teacher. He knew that the point is to share one's message-- in any pursuit.

Much love to everyone out there. For the sake of life, love, expression, remebrance, passion, and sharing. On this day, Dia de los Muertos, and all others I send my prayers and my heart-- the end of the physical life is not the end of one's affect on the living. To all I have and all I've lost, you are cherished.