Wednesday, December 31, 2008

LIFE PATTERNS aka A Weird Post

I have a lot to say today... I am arm hurts... has been karmically (not a word...who cares) interesting...thus I must share...I am still plagued by nightmares (and although this is supposed to be the 'happy place'--this is my world and I can break the rules)...but this has been most of my life and I just accept it...Angelo tells me I was talking in my sleep, which explains why I was struggling in my dream...I wonder what the connection is...Ange tells me I wake up every morning telling him my arm hurts, I have no recollection of this except for today...I get a flickr message about my cute owl:

domus_sport says:

Are you sure it's not ceramic/clay? It looks very much like this owl ndahl_-aukti...

by Edvard Lindahl for Gustavsberg. My grandmother has a pair of those, though with both eyes open. 

He is right. My owl simultaneously become more and less special.

I visit Ali  and wonder about the word for 2009 ...I realize I have kind of forgotten 2008's word...I think it was 'hope' (wasn't that  2007 when I got the tattoo) or something...either way, I blog to help me record random things like I start to contemplate my word for the year...some visuals pop into my head, mostly cliches. I start to think about Dexter, and my current issues, and the word "Become" pops into my head, but I realize I cannot become what I am as much as just "Be"--I remember that is the tattoo I wanted to get on my wrist...perhaps that will be the next...

I chat with Adam, he tells me I have an affinity to things with one eye-- (all named by him)

Bones McCloud
Okie (his one-eyed Cat), and Winky (my owl seen above)...I realize he is right...and remember how much I love Goonies and how the reason I have tried to like the show Fringe is because of the concept called "The Pattern", but really it is no Lost.
Simultaneously I chat with Jay...when this happens:
The problem with the Self-Cherishing "I" is that is only concerned with momentary happiness
It can't perceive beyond this one body it is attached to
The true self is the you who has been to every corner of the universe and BEYOND
After that life is not the same. You can still have the same life you had, but you will not worry about "becoming"
you will know that you already are everything
doesn't mean you become a bum
in fact you can become a hero of men
and god
Anyway, thats a lot of talk
wow, so interesting that you said 'becoming'
I was thinking of a word to guide me this year, and the ones that came to me were either Become or Be...totally different connotations...
you already have "come" to "be"
in a way, there is nothing i need to become, because i already am...i just need to let go and be
you got it
i awlays wonder why that is so hard to do
I know. Me too
but there is a reason, and the reward is infinite
comparred to the little suffering it takes to realize that
I have a small e-piphany...haha
I decide not to make resolutions because my only resolve is to continue to "BE".


  1. I love when little kooky things happen- they make sense to me! Happy New Year to you! (c;

  2. phew!! I am so happy I am not alone!! P.S. I LOVE your new FLICKR group!! I will have to make stuff just to add to it!! Got a cute book on making lots of fun feltie thingies.



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