Wednesday, August 29, 2007

My heart has been stolen...a Portland story. PART ONE

Something odd happened to me when I was in Portland (PDX) Oregon. I was swooned. I submit to the thought of a life there. I inadvertently had the wind knocked out of me and fell in love. The word is probably enchanted, but I know I imagined myself getting all cozy and close with Portland, and maybe starting a life there; which in turn made me have this deep sadness that I had emotionally cheated on my hometown and current life. Now I am back and have to face this place knowing that I had lost the real love long ago and need to end this relationship soon...before it starts to get ugly. It's funny, because I want to step out of my home and see it more objectively. I want to come back and feel nostalgic...but I don't know if I want to grow old here. There is beauty in knowing there are other places out there that have such powerful energy that makes you feel good inside. While I visited I was drawn in by so many elements. I instantly started having anxiety about what it would take to move there, which meant the impact was sickeningly LAFS (love at first sight)...and I don't even believe in that! I wrote lists of why Portland rocked, I started researching jobs, and I started meantally telling myself that this could be it. I had internal arguments, paranoia about what ifs, exhiliration about a fresh chapter in life, and guilt about wanting to pursue my own here is a little verbal montage of my visit...

Day 1: Immediately the air was different. Thinner. Fresher. Somewhat overcast. By the time I saw Unique after running in circles in the airport I knew the adventure had started. I could tell inside that I would be thinking about a lot over the next few days. The sun came out with embracing warmth abound. We stopped and absorbed the following:

The better pictures are on my flickr, but i think these may still speak for themselves. We did some little hikes to various waterfalls. The intoxicating smell of the wilderness filled me with a freshness I didn't know I direly needed. While we parked by the last spot (Horsetail Falls--the magical place) I got to see the train cars pass and I was reminded of childhood and the nostalgia of the colorful cargo as they zoomed by monstrously. We stood close to waterfalls and got drenched by the mist and high off the smell of the wet moss. We sat on stones and allowed ourselves to be permeated with nature. We watched people throw sticks in the pond and their dogs swim out blissfully. I want to believe in reincarnation and come back as a dog in Oregon.

Unique drove me all around so I could get a real feel for the city. She was a brilliant hostess, tour guide, and friend. She showed me all of the spots she found alluring and I was glad to renew and share in her enchantment with this alien city that has become her home. I knew as we drove and I captured the beauty of this city that I was in for some pinching myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming up the place the entire time.


  1. sounds like a gorgeous time. Sometimes staying in the safty keeps you naive. Getting out of your comfort zone is what IT'S all about!

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    Now here's a quote I find inspiring:

    "And there came a time when the risk of remaining closed tight in a bud far outweighed the risk it took to bloom" - Anais Nin



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